The culmination of the thesis exhibition of Loss is Expected occurred on Friday, May 15th, 2009, during the Manifest Festival at Columbia College, Chicago. In keeping theme with my deconstruction of  performance and production, my previous performances in the installation were minimally advertised, and used to alter the space, rather than entertain an audience. Audiences were unexpected or coincidental, and often unaware that performance was going on whatsoever. Prior characters were subtle and completely pedestrian. Mad Lady Libs was the breaking of this rule in my performances. She, too, was minimally advertised, but her costume, make-up and distance from a pedestrian evocation made clear the performance element. Clearly, she is a character that belongs to Loss is Expected. Clearly, she is a familiar icon, skewed. Clearly, as she will tell you, she is on vacation, and she is very excited to see and be seen, watch, and be watched, divulge and be divulged, solve and be solved.

Being on vacation, she has the ability to travel and explore-smile for photos with strangers, pose for others willingly. She has also prepared games and gifts- a poem, a pledge, a song, she reads tarot cards and interacts. She is not aware of her costume, other than the fact that it is sharp if encountered carelessly(being made of chicken wire and trash), so she keeps a careful distance. But she is welcoming, funny, and clear, albeit a little awkward. Luckily, she has no shame.

Text: I am an Island

I am an island, enlightening the world

I am an island and a gift.

I am an island here to welcome you.

Welcome.

I am an island of an icon on an island.

A goddess of freedom

from slavery

oppression

tyranny.

I am your teen dream set aside to watch over you

in friendship

I am an island

begging you to bring me your huddled masses

in hopes that they get to me first.

Breathing free in the dream

surrounding my feet.

I am an island built on your base

reduced to pieces for travel,

stored for clearance.

Thank you, Cleveland!

I am an island representing your dreams,

your gifts to me are clear,

covering me top full

on this island.

I ask you to now help me fill in the blanks

So I can share with you what I have learned,

Watching, waiting,

here for you, of you.

She then asks the crowd to offer these nouns:

1)    Noun- something personally sacred

2)    Plural Noun-can be anything

3)    Noun- something that contains something

4)    Noun- collective group

5)    Noun- Powerful entity

6)    Noun-personal ideal

7)    Noun-Personal ideal

Once the words are in place, she asks the crowd to place their right hand over their hearts, and repeat after her:

I pledge allegiance to the –1—of the United –2—of America. And to the –3—

for which it stands, indivisible,one –4—under –5—with –6—and –7—for all.

How does this character relate to Loss is Expected?Simply. She is who she is. She was built with one common goal and reminder of optimism, ideals and growth. Layered with waste and reflection, her reason for being is still proud and clear. When she doesn't make sense, or seems odd, it adds a cautionary tale to those who observe, which an observer can accept or reject. She is both a reflection and a nurturing entity, always seeking, always persevering.

The evolution of this character stems directly from my childhood. The only art contest I've ever entered(it was unbeknownst to me-a school project) was in 5th grade. It was a poster contest for the Kent Junior Women's League(oh, god, the field day I could have with that title, alone). The contest was to create a poster under the theme of "I Love America" and go from there. I drew the Statue of Liberty with little comic book thought bubbles surrounding it containing what I had been brought up to believe as the benefits of living in America: Food, Wealth, Clothing, Happiness, etc, etc, etc. The poster wasn't good, by any means, but it won 2nd place out of 100, and I got a free pizza and $10!!! Apparently, the poster was submitted to a state-wide competition. I never saw it again.

I probably wouldn't remember any of this, had not one one of my teachers laminated a newspaper article that had been published in The Record Courier and given it to my mother(she was the school psychologist for the Kent City schools-and is now a fantastic watercolorist in Cape Elizabeth), who then kept it until she and my stepfather moved to Maine, and it ended up in a package sent to me, just before I started grad school in 2007. In 2007, I found it absurd, hilarious and sweet, and gave this carefully laminated photo of me in a pinafore dress and a mullett at age 10 a permanent place on my refrigerator, as well as a reminder of the icons and signs that are both driven into you in youth, and chosen as you grow older, wiser, and wanting to remember those familiar things and events that you can't quite place, but form your identity.

Cross that(much like the initial cross in the tarot readings given) with the recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance that we were trained to recite with a loudspeaker and a principal when I was a kid, and the manner in which we'd play with the word "indivisible." In my experience, we were trained and rewarded for learning our patriotic renditions. But the fact of the matter is, we all live our lives, and  recognize where we are, where we are going, and the place we personally land is not built of what we have been told, but of how we choose to play the games presented, and interpret the rules. Even(especially) as kids, we tried to play with the rules given to us.

I chose to work with the Statue of Liberty because she is beautiful, specific, stoic and a common thread between my process of growing up, ideals, and hopes for the future. I can't dismiss that she is an island(much like my own personal musing that "Joan of Arc Island" in NYC is a median on Riverside Drive),  a myth, and an aspiration. So, I humanized her. I gave her a home and a dowdy outfit, carefully and lovingly constructed, and a personality that is hilarious, concerned, welcoming and out of time.

On May 18th,after the performance, I returned to NYC to visit friends. As I clumsily tried to explain this particular character to Brandon, who is a video artist(an amazing one, in fact)in Brooklyn, he rather incredulously asked, "Karen, do you know where the Statue of Liberty's gaze falls?"He then told me of the statue of Minerva in Green Wood Cemetery, in Brooklyn, at the site built to commemorate the Battle of Long Island, August, 27, 1776. I did know this, given my past Statue of Liberty research... but I had forgotten. Visiting this monument of Minerva raising her hand in an acknowledging wave to the monument of the Statue of Liberty, torch high and resolute,  accentuated the inclusion that I sought to extend. Liberty may be an island, but she is seeking connection. That's her point. that is why she embodies the American dream. 

Memory is amazing to me. As are facts, and the games we play in which to join the jumble  that has been spread out like a carpet of reminders and cautionary tales. Loss is Expected is my first public foray into playing with my personal past and the history that built the history that will continue to define the past. It's playful, stark, layered and constantly influenced, easily overlooked, and equally enigmatic. I approached this installation as I have done with characters as an actor. It's intensely personal, and shamelessly overt.

None of this was expected. It makes total sense.

xo,

K