Flies on the wall- The background superstar

Since moving out to Los angeles, I've been spending much of my adjustment time doing background work for film and television. I highly recommend this approach to any actor, artist, writer, bon vivant, student of human nature and fascinators of the absurd. Aaaand... everyone else. I never would have gone this route in my 20's when I was a fledgling actor. It's fantastic to work on a different set every day, have a fly-on-the-wall perspective of how different production companies work, and learn so much about people in a very short time. I would have been concerned that I would get stuck in a rut, or attach myself to a path of insignificance in a career that needed to move. So, I didn't. I traveled as an actor, in and out of NYC, Memphis, and any place that held a space on a stage for me. I wrote a lot. I read a lot of Sam Shepard's short stories. In my 20's(and now) I was a huge fan of the Los Angeles lifestyle that fed Shepard's Cruising Paradise and Motel Chronicles. He was the type of Hollywood actor I'd have liked to become- one who acts because he can, is invested, pays the bills, and has this full life of pursuits and experiences that color the idiosyncratic characters that he plays with leading man good looks, a dark and twisted innocence in his writing, full acceptance of his neuroses and privacy in life, and Jessica Lange. There is something about his Hollywood presence that assured me that I would fit there, too. Not with Sam Shepard, mind you, but in that niche. What attracted me to his work, and him, was his clear investment in passion. Something shared and familiar. I didn't want to be Jessica Lange, as an end goal. I didn't want to be the subject and cultivator of passion. I wanted to be Sam Shepard. I wanted to go out and make observations, awkwardly compiling and stringing together bits and pieces to make some sort of sense that is allowed to be non-sensical. I can put that together now, but at the time, I didn't know that. I hadn't learned it yet. When I started out in this industry, it was with much talent, training and promise. Benefits, all, that I put aside to pursue awkwardness, gain experience based on passion that has led to my work with art-outreach, literacy, performance art, writing and installation work. I never gave up on acting, training or this industry, after all. I've used it in all of my work as a skill. I broadened my perspectives and horizons. I took time to inform my view. I needed to act as an artist and a professional. I needed to marry the two, and I am still learning how to do this. Which is why I love being in Los Angeles now, with New York, Memphis and Chicago informing my path. Exciting and fun!

Doing background work has it's advantages, especially while new to the city. Very quickly, you will learn how to get around when you are scheduled for a different location daily. And you immediately know what is shooting and when. Very quickly, you will meet new friends and cohorts, as well as people that you may not want to meet. It is a thrill, for me, to be on set and observe the ways in which productions are run. Most are chaotic and frustrating, and you quickly get an idea of which productions you like to work on, and which you don't. I also love to watch the actors, both from a point of their work ethic, as well as their nature ethic. You really see it all- high profile actors who treat background like their own personal brothel of privilege to actors focused on their craft to actors who are so world-worn that they are calling it in. Every so often, you witness something amazing- Al Pacino being directed by Adam Sandler, JJ Abrams taking great care with his youngest actors, Bill Paxton telling endless stories, Frank Sinatra, Jr performing to your audience, Jerry O'Connell running to get a bottle of water, and asking the background if anyone else needs one, too. It's all a big show that everyone is in together, this Hollywood thing. Legendary and pedestrian life clash into a hilarious head. It's often Shakespearean- the beggar who et of a king, and all(although nothing epitomizes that reference more than the Dave Matthews Band tour bus dumping their literal shit on top of an architectural tour cruise in Chicago, and I'm talking about LA)Background work is not meant for your own personal showcase, which is why I am glad I didn't get into it in my 20's. You are meant to be the architecture of the scene and place. Whether or not you are seen is important to friends back home, perhaps, but you know, as a background actor, that if you do your job well, you will not be noticed. An easy job, and an important one. Some joke that you are a "prop," but I disagree. You are a city street, a courtroom, and texture, a layer. These are all important functions. If you want to be an actor- be aggressive and get those roles. I encourage actors to do background work, with the understanding of that role and its importance(because it is) as atmosphere, and to take the opportunity watch and learn while onset, as there is much to apply when you are acting in a featured role.

Sometimes, these opportunities collide. This is another benefit of starting out in background work. When that collision occurs, and you are ready and willing to go with it, amazing stories become your own.

An example:

Yesterday, I worked as background on Clint Eastwood's new film, J. Edgar. When I was originally booked for a fitting, by my call-in service, I knew nothing about it, other than it was clearly a big-budget film based on J. Edgar Hoover. I was excited about the costumes. I love the fashion of that era, and I haven't worked in this time period yet. My inner costume nerd was twitching. Sadly, I never got past the fitting, as the call in service had booked me in a category that would not have included women. Sigh. This is the same call-in service that had booked me on 90210 a week earlier, then cancelled, because someone probably looked at my AGE. With a want to wear the costumes, I ended up booking myself through LA Casting. YAY! I still didn't know who the director was, but I did know that the attention to detail, in regard to the costuming, was precise. Then I learned that Eastwood was directing, and was more interested.

Clint Eastwood is notorious for directing with a disciplined set that is atypical to most sets, but familiar to a classroom or theatre. On set, there is no talking, aside from the director and the script. No one yells. Before entering the set, you are taught the hand gestures that are used to denote "rolling"and "rehearsal," and reminded that even in points of turn around or change overs, no one is to talk, other than those who were needing to communicate in order to get things done. I love it. It creates the space of work, with no time wasted. Moments are continued, rather than broken, and there is no place for shouting, frustration or bullshit. Just work. Good work. You may have to be Clint Eastwood to get away with it, but I so appreciated it. The atmosphere created was one of passion for the project at hand. Iwas proud to be in that place.

By chance, I was positioned in the front row of a courtroom scene in which Leonardo Dicaprio, as J. Edgar, was making the argument for stricter policing in regard to personal and familial safety, namely kidnapping, heavily referencing the Lindbergh kidnapping. Leonardo Dicaprio was well schooled and working diligently with his character. It was inspiring to see in action. I definitely respect him, as an actor, but I haven't been a follower of his work since Gilbert Grape and Basketball Diaries. I found him exciting, then. I think he lost me, as an audience, with Titanic. This is no fault of his own- he's incredibly talented and strong. Like following a great band, you know when they've switched labels and gone in a direction that is less interesting to you, so you stop listening to the new stuff, and focus on the old, until you get bored, you know? And that former, impassioned stuff, is still there whenever you want to visit it. Audiences are selfish. That's their role. A new respect has formed for him, after watching him work. The guy is a pro. He is invested and intense. Watching him work was as inspiring as watching Eastwood direct, 2 inches from the camera and responding the whole time. There was a palpable sense of ownership between the two that was contagious. What a treat, to have a birds-eye view of this work in action, while being a part of it, as both a literal and figurative onlooker. I was sitting directly behind him. When we got to the point of filming, over and again, I was able to play as an actor. I knew I was on camera. Leonardo was acting his ass off, and earnestly, the director was poised and intent, watching and reacting, and the moment was clearly open for investment. I was happy to play. So I did. It was nice to let go. I didn't know where my investment would go, and that's the beauty of acting- you have your given circumstances, you let what happens happen. This scene was impassioned. I was sold. I just went with it, and played. It was an emotional scene. Tears welled. In between takes, I felt awkward, concerned that I'd gone too far. Another benefit of background(for you actors) is that, if you're emitting something the director notices and doesn't want- they'll switch you out. no harm, no foul. Nothing personal, (unless you take it that way, and if you do, then you know you're not comfortable doing background) it never is. I found myself flustered, a bit. The principal and the director were working their asses off, and it was allowing me to play, as an actor...but I'm background, and respect that...sooooo... I remembered to trust that if it is too much, I'll know. Just go with it. So, I did. Tears welled with every shot. Kind of a vulnerable, unexpected place. At a certain point, the director added in the applause that the speech called for. He directed that I begin it, and everyone else join in. A victory, for sure. Clint fucking Eastwood saw that I was involved through the lens of shooting. This would also add a fun level of my nerdy acting to figure out how to go from tears to clapping. Yay! Oh, and Clint Eastwood addressed me and gave me a direction! That's just cool. With the next take, and many after that, I did. Camera angles changed, and I noticed that, as the director softly spoke to the DP, he was pointing in my direction. We did a few more. Then the director and DP approached me, and Clint Eastwood said(to the DP), "I want to get a shot of my lady, here, responding, with those lovely tears." and to me, he said, "Really nice. thank you." (or something to that effect-much more eloquent than my recollection). The principals were given a break, the chairs were adjusted so the camera could be set on me, and the best part of this story is about to reveal, both as an actor and a person who reveres and appreciates everything that had been going on throughout this shoot, and all of the information and experience that has informed Clint Eastwood into the director that he is, and the acting that I want to explore.

The camera was set on my face. Clint Eastwood stood in the foreground to my left. Dicaprio's stand-in was placed. Clint Eastwood coached me through the beats of the monologue, softly and with open air. He gave me the space to work, punctuating points of emotion, only so far...just to let me play. Don't get me wrong, there was no Oscar winning performance involved, here. This is a difficult task to do, for any actor. I was so thankful to have the training that I do, especially because I have very little on-camera experience, save for Strasberg, a commercial class in Chicago, and a few smaller independent films and shorts. However, I have the wherewithal to understand the fun of the game presented. I held my own. I know that monologue, I had the repetition of what had been done prior, and at the one point I started to force it, he quietly ushered me back. I loved it. It was incredibly intimate. I hope that he can use it. I'd be proud. This experience also reminded me that I am trained as an actor. I am ready. I'm just picky. But I can hold my own amongst those who are passionate and prepared. In fact, I crave that position. Legend and celebrity, be damned! All I need to play is respect, acknowledgement and an invitation. I will rub shoulders with Sam Shepard, yet. I hope to do so with the grace of Jessica Lange and the constitution of my own.